e x h a u s t i o n: why being a film student is ballz.

today:

01. woke up to fun timez with Sarah and Q. In N Out and cookies and cream before class.
02. chill day in Film History is chill when everyone knows everyone. 86% on the midterm, fuck yessss!
03. spent 3 hours putting together the set list/shooting schedule for Andy’s film shoot this weekend. very pro. being an AD is hard work.
04. worked on the Cinema Collective 24-hour piece with Neil and Manh. I am not an actress, but I do hate sandwiches and talking dinosaurs.
05. so many parties, so little time.
06. neighbors like my Pocahontas hair and not-really-furry boots. hot blonde surfer boys wink in the elevator and I swoon.

—

tomorrow:

01. early morning run. training for Disneyland marathon.
02. writing two essays in four hours.
03. going to Andy’s for the shoot (7 hours minimum).
04. sticking around to finish Sunday’s shooting schedule.

—

sunday:

01. film shoot in the morning (4 hours).
02. screening for the Alan Smithee 24-hour projects. thanks to the boys for editing, as I am too busy with 3 movies within 7 days.
03. finishing papers and crashing crashing crashing.

03.

such a pretty little thing
with a pretty little crown
and you were so very very pretty
when your walls came tumbling down.

02.

you haven’t quite realized it
but haven’t you heard?
you’re really fucking beautiful
in every sense of the word.

tegan and sara.

no matter which way you go,
no matter which way you stay,
you’re out of my mind,
out of my mind.

why spring break is lovely.

theme parks. trader joes. marilyn monroe. cotton candy drinks. old movies. new movies. melting chocolate chip cookies. camera talk. sunny days. blue skies. giant sunglasses. bathing suits. sleeping at 4am. restaurants. dressing rooms. lunchables. drunken fiestas. god of war. uncharted. oreo desserts. meeting boyfriends. making friends. guinea pigs. car rides. 420 on hicks. dresses. reading by the pool. indie folk music.

seeing you <3

because sometimes you just really want someone, anyone to talk to you.

about anything, everything, nothing at all.

01.

once you thought I was beautiful
and once I thought we were friends.
but nowadays all we ever do
is pretend, pretend, pretend.

when did my tumblr turn into a blog?!

today I ran a few miles, prepared to go out, slept for 2 hours to get rid of my headache but failed, got violently sick like always, and laid on the couch all day watching Woody Allen movies and episodes of Lost.

needless to say, I did not actually go out or write my essay or buy more Trader Joes kettle corn. but that’s okay because I’m still pretty happy and I have lovely friends and this whole week’s going to be sososo fun and my pokemon are evolving like crazy!

so you know, all in a day’s work <3

sicksicksicksicksicksickdead.

been to the hospital three times already this year for three different reasons. making it an even four. it’s sad when their number is programmed into your phone.

haven’t been able to stomach food all week. headaches. nausea. dehydration. exhausted all the time, even though my last treatment has been over for a few weeks already and the side effects should be gone. been feeling completely and utterly depressed for no good reason. losing faith in humanity. no one is real, everyone is bothersome. can’t even think straight. what is even happening?

butdon’tworryIstilladoreyouandyoustillmakemesmilesopleasedon’tstop.

dear stranger on tumblr,

I don’t know you, and you don’t know me. we do have a mutual friend IRL, and I have found you simply by being a creeper.

I just want to say that I think you’re beautiful, and that you’re inspiring and talented and pretty and seem like such a wonderful person, and I would love to be your friend. I’m afraid to tell you this to your face, afraid to follow you on tumblr, afraid to bring any attention to myself, because then you will be freaked by me, our mutual friend will be freaked out by me, and no one will look at me the same.

but I think we could be great friends. we have so much in common and I think you’re such a great person and that you deserve happiness. and maybe I’ll get the courage to actually tell you this one day, but until then, I’ll just hope our online friendship gets the chance it deserves (:

yours truly,
kristen <3

feeling depressed. boys are dumb. girls are mean. okay goodnight.

a guy I used to date currently lives in Japan

haven’t talked to him in almost a year. would it be weird to message him out of the blue to make sure he’s okay?!

I dislike when boys ask if I want to “hang out sometime”

if you want to ask someone out, just say so! REAL TALK.
that way I can reject you properly hahahaha